The sky is a hard blue
I love this shade of blue
Usually I love it
so bright, so fierce, so definite
But today it makes me angry
The snow is so white, so bright
I love the fallen snow on a winter’s day
The light it radiates, reflects, amplifies
Usually I love it
but today I see its coldness
unfriendly, frozen-edged, cutting
Today I hate it
Or, no, I don’t hate it
I just hate everything
Hate the medical bills, the unrepaired house
the feebleness of my body, my beloved child’s disability
unrelenting responsibility, the impossibility of it all
Hate all of it
Hate it
The bright sky over the crusting snow
shouts my hatred
like an angel of hell
like a brazen trumpet
Or else mocks it
mocks me
In memory of my mother:
No Beauty
Exiled
Despair
Bright Radiance
Beauty in the Close
Grievous Loss